It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a strictly adoption related blurb. This is one topic I’ve had stored away for awhile, not sure when I would bring it out for discussion. After all it will be awhile before we’re worrying about this, but I still find myself thinking about it. So a few questions and my thoughts. (For those of you waiting and, thus, unable to answer all of the questions - please respond to whichever ones you can).
TIMELINE
(1) How old was your child when he/she was referred to you?
(2) How old was your child when you travelled to meet them?
(3) How old was your child when you brought them home?
PREFERENCE
(1) What age child did you request and why?
Frank and I go back and forth on this issue. I feel very strongly that I want our first child to be as young as possible because I would like us to experience the “baby” time. After the first adoption, I’m not sure that we will be so picky. Frank would really like to adopt a child 3-5 years old at some point. So there is a very good chance down the road we will be doing that, as well.
Hi there
I read your blog regularly - but I’m not sure if I’ve commented before or not. Guess that makes me a stalker? 
Anyway, here are my answers to your questions:
TIMELINE
(1) How old was your child when he/she was referred to you?
15 months old
(2) How old was your child when you travelled to meet them?
16 months old
(3) How old was your child when you brought them home?
20 months old
PREFERENCE
(1) What age child did you request and why?
“18 months or younger, as young as possible” is exactly what we wrote in our dossier. Exactly what you said your reasoning is for ‘as young as possible’ was our reasoning as well. We also did not want to miss out on the baby years. Simple as that. I’ll admit that I wasn’t sure how to feel that Iliya was “so old” when we received his referral. But as it turns out - for lots of reasons - we wouldn’t have had it any other way (funny how that happens)!
Comment by Melissa B. — October 24, 2007 @ 3:19 am
Well, we’re still in process, but we have requested within our dossier a daughter under 18 months old. For us, it was due (or is it do? My brain is fried right now!) to having 2 boys 4 and 2. We don’t feel lead to “disrupt” for-lack-of-better-word, the “flow” of our family. We knew it would not be in J’s best interest to adopt older than he is, leaving him to no longer be the oldest (he’s 4), and since he and H have only 2 years and 2 months between them, we didn’t want to adopt a child in between them, thus the under 18 month request.
)
You will know what works best for your family when the time is right!!
Comment by JennStar — October 24, 2007 @ 3:33 pm
Our original request was for a child 18 months or younger. Alexander was 9 months at time of referral. 10 months when we traveled to meet him and 18 months when we lost him. He would have been 2 if/when we brought him home.
After we lost Sasha we revised our paperwork to say 24 months or younger. Oleg was 17 months at referral, 18 months when we met him and 23 months by the time we brought him home.
What losing Sasha taught me is that even if you request a child that is very young (and get one) that they may not be that young by the time you bring them home.
I too wanted that baby time when we first started. Having adopted a 2 year old… I don’t feel like I missed it at all. That’s why we are having such a hard time with deciding on a biological child or not. We don’t know if we do want that baby stage.
Comment by elle — October 24, 2007 @ 8:18 pm
We requested 12-18 months…Alexander was 15 months upon referral and 18 months when we had court. At 18 months, he had a lot of baby left in him and still does at 22 months. At this stage I get my baby fix and enjoy this insane toddler stage. I was concerned about health issues as well and worried that things wouldn’t be detected in a child under 12 months…not sure if that’s accurate but it was a feeling I had so I went with it.
Comment by annmarie — October 27, 2007 @ 3:26 am
We were hoping for a child as young as possible up to 18 months when we came home. SO, We requested up to 12 months expecting to get a referral for a 14 or 15 month old. I didn’t think they would refer a child that was too many months older than our request which is why we requested 12 months. She was 14 nearly 15 months old at referral, 17 months when we went back for court and 10 days shy of 18 months when we finally came home…we spent 25 days in Russia on trip 2.
Comment by Lisa L — October 30, 2007 @ 3:04 am
HI,
We adopted three years ago, and originally wanted as young as possible, but then I started researching alot of stuff and like AnnMarie, was worried we couldn’t detect thing in a child under 12 months and changed our minds to two and under. We got a referral the next week for our daughter at the time she was 24 months and brought her home at 25 months, potty trained and sleeping through the night! IT was great! She is now in kindergarten and reading! If you have question, please e-mail.
kollis22@hotmail.com
Kristin
Comment by Kristin — October 30, 2007 @ 8:24 pm
For both of our previous adoptions, we requested 18 months or younger.
With Chipmunk, he was 13 months old on first trip and 14 months old when we brought him home.
The Monkey was almost 16 months old on our first trip and 17 months old when we brought him home.
With our first adoption, we definitely wanted as young as possible so we could experience as much “babyness” as possible. With our second adoption we didn’t necessarily care about as young as possible as long as he was at least a year younger than Chipmunk (he is 18 months younger). With both boys, we got so many “firsts” - first walk, first talk. We loved the ages they were; they already had personalities, were fun to play, and slept through the night!
With this adoption, we started at wanting 18 months or younger but have let our agency know that we are absolutely willing to go up to 24 months. It was important to us again to keep at least a year between Monkey and HotDog but as the adoption has been delayed, the Monkey is now 3 so a 2-year-old little girl would be wonderful!
If we ever adopt again, I could absolutely see us adopting an older toddler.
Comment by Allison — October 31, 2007 @ 1:49 am
I know I’m in the minority, but I wasn’t interested in a baby. My hs says ages 2-6 just in case there’s a younger sibling involved, but I’ve requested ages 4-6 with the agency and the MOE. As a single mom, this makes the most sense to me. I just couldn’t had my baby over to someone else while I go to work. This way, we can go to school together.
I’ve never been really keen on babies. And, an “older” child just calls to me.
Comment by kate — November 6, 2007 @ 4:02 pm