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First, thank you to everyone for the nice compliments. That made my week! Now back to adoption related things.

While we were visiting Michigan, Frank surprised me with his openness and willingness to talk about the adoption. He brought it up to everyone who asked. He brought it up to his Mom saying something like, “Christen - Maybe you should explain to my Mom how the adoption is going to work so that she understands.” It was really random, but made me so happy. And there we sat, the three of us, discussing the Russian adoption process, referrals, paperwork, cost, travel and more. This is the woman who once said to us, “why would you want to adopt?” Like she didn’t know the reasons behind it and we had never spoken of it before. I was really dumbfounded when Frank confronted one of my big fears by saying, “We know that you won’t have the same bond with our kids as you do with X.” (X being our nephew, who my MIL is SUPER close to…. like borderline intrusively, close to.) I want her to be comfortable with our kids and loving with them, but I don’t want the relationship X has with her. I do fear that she will treat our kids differently, though, because of some of the things she has said in the past. Also, because she compares our life to my SIL’s life. There is a vast difference in income level, education and a lot of other things. Anyways, she was a little shocked by his statement and quickly responded by assuring us it would be no different. She said she’d love our children because they are our children and that any grandparent would fall in love with a child once they see their own child being the Mom or Dad. I hope that’s true in the future, but for the time being it calmed my fears. She sat through the whole explanation and asked some questions. She seemed genuinely excited for us. I was really pleased and my heart swelled thinking that Frank is excited enough to bring it up all on his own.

While we were visiting his Dad and my SIL’s family in northern Michigan, the adoption subject also got brought up. My SIL actually asked me about it. She wanted to know when it was happening and then went on to tell me how she’d been reading up online and watching Baby Story shows on TLC. I was really surprised at how much information she already knew about the process. She even told me about a family she knows in her town that have adopted three children from Russia. Later on that week, Frank brought up the adoption to his Dad. This was shocking because his Dad is not very actively involved in our life. He’s kind of out of the loop on most things, including where Frank went to college. (but don’t get me started on that!) Anyways, this time Frank explained it to his Dad himself while I sat there listening. It was truly astonishing how knowledgeable he’s become. Frank’s Dad was very positive about it and even told us he thought it was a great gift for our family. He said he is impressed with how willing we are to take the road less travelled in all aspects of our life.

Overall it was a very positive thing. Frank’s family seems up for the journey and all of them seemed to have the same lingering question… “WHEN?” It became clear that a lot of my fears were somewhat irrational. Wondering if they’d be supportive, wondering if they’d love our children, wondering if they’d “get it.” I was wrong to doubt them before I gave them a chance. However, the best part was that Frank wanted to talk about it himself. He wanted to share all the information and let people start getting excited about what is to come for our family!

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a strictly adoption related blurb. This is one topic I’ve had stored away for awhile, not sure when I would bring it out for discussion. After all it will be awhile before we’re worrying about this, but I still find myself thinking about it. So a few questions and my thoughts. (For those of you waiting and, thus, unable to answer all of the questions - please respond to whichever ones you can).

TIMELINE
(1) How old was your child when he/she was referred to you?
(2) How old was your child when you travelled to meet them?
(3) How old was your child when you brought them home?

PREFERENCE
(1) What age child did you request and why?

Frank and I go back and forth on this issue. I feel very strongly that I want our first child to be as young as possible because I would like us to experience the “baby” time. After the first adoption, I’m not sure that we will be so picky. Frank would really like to adopt a child 3-5 years old at some point. So there is a very good chance down the road we will be doing that, as well.

Pardon the interruption from the tales of our European adventure….

…….tick, tock, Tick, Tock, TICK, TOCK!

Okay - Frank and I want to be parents and this is no big surprise, but the thing is that I have always known we have awhile before we actually are parents. So, I’ve kept myself busy with school and being a wife. I’ve been totally satisfied by that and, honestly, enjoyed being able to be selfish. I mean half the time I still feel like a kid and get homesick here missing my own Mom. But….. It’s so strange when you realize that your biological clock has begun ticking. I mean, we’ve been researching the adoption and planning for sometime now so, I guess, you could say it was revolving at a slow pace already. Yet, somehow this week it feels like that sucker is spinning noticeably faster. I find myself looking at nurseries online, debating names with Frank and peaking at the waiting children photolisting. Not sure what the reason is for the change and I certainly hope it slows back down, because we have a ways to go before I can even start complaining or getting impatient.

(Before you get annoyed that I’m stringing you along about the luggage, I will post the second installment very soon…. )

Before I get to the posts about our vacation, I thought it was time to return to the original reason for this blog. Adopting our Olive. Since we are still not officially in the midst of the adoption, I continue to discuss things we’re concerned about in the future or topics that I’m looking for your opinions and advice about.

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Why the title? Because this post is about making the big announcement… did you do anything special to officially announce your adoption? How did you tell your family and friends and at what point in the adoption process did you make the annoucement?

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coming soon - pictures and stories of our European vacation

Thank you all for your kind words, comments, emails. I really appreciate it. Now that I’ve processed it, I realize I really have nothing to complain about. Time will go quickly and I’m happy right now in this point of my life. Plus, there are people waiting to go get their child. That is so much more difficult then me just waiting to get started. Let’s just be honest. Waiting sucks.

Olive?  Did you think I was going to say Carmen Santiago?
(if you don’t get the joke, don’t ask - it wasn’t a good one anyway…)

What region did you go with?  Why?

This post is as simple as that.  I know that some agencies limit your regions, some select them for you….
but, still I’d like to learn as much as I can. The agency we’re going to be working with works in the following regions:
Astrakhan
Kazan
Moscow City
Moscow District
Nishniy Novgorod
Omsk
Perm
St. Petersburg

I hear so many different positives and negatives about all of them. It’s very overwhelming. I know it’s really early for me to even be concerned, but I’d like to start getting some research done now. We’d like to go with a region that often waives the 10 day waiting period. We’d prefer a city to the country, although it’s not crucial. We’d like our child to be caucasian, fair skinned - like us. So a region that’s children are typically of that appearance. We don’t mind the 8 doctor medical, although of course we’d prefer not to have to deal with it. We’d like a region with a short time period between the time you meet your child and go back to court. We’d also like the region to give referrals at 8 months. We don’t mind waiting longer, we just know that we want a young, infant.

I don’t mean to offend anyone who disagrees with our preferences. This is the type of child we feel we can be parents to - This is what we feel is best for us. Not necessarily what is best for everyone. So, any experiences or knowledge about regions that would work with our preferences?

So the whole “end of Russian adoptions” was all over the news. Where are the stories about the reaccreditation? Why is it that American news just loves to report the tragedy and drama?

Congrats to all the families waiting!! I will be following along on many of your journeys, wishing you luck and hoping for the best! It keeps me motivated that our own adoption process is coming sooner or later…. though, it often feels like it is much, much later. Until then, I enjoy your stories.

ANN MARIE AND ZACH ARE PROUD PARENTS TO ALEXANDER!!!

Head over and congratulate them on their beautiful baby boy!

http://comeundone.typepad.com/

So this blog is supposed to be about Adoption, right? I guess I should return to some of those topics, as I’ve deviated from them for awhile now. Before I do though, I have to thank you all for not teasing me about my hair pictures. When I was looking back over my hair cut post I realized how funny those extreme close ups look. I really was just trying to show you the color against a dark background - not trying to pose like a Sears Glamour shot.

Anyways, back to Adoption stuff.

While we were home Frank told everyone (and I mean everyone) we spent time with that we’re planning to adopt as soon as we move back to the States. He told them all about what he’s learned about Russian Adoption, the process, the children, etc. I couldn’t believe it. He actually has been reading our blog, some of yours and listening to me when I blabber on and on about all this stuff. He actually knew what he was talking about. (Not that my hubby isn’t smart… he really is…. but, I didn’t think he really knew that much about Russian Adoption.) He even told some of your stories to our friends and family. It made me feel good that he is excited and planning for this, too. The only thing that kind of bothered me is that we have both agreed we weren’t going to announce our official “start date” to people. We are planning to announce it in some sort of special way to our parents, first. Really though, that doesn’t matter…. what matters is that he is choosing to talk about it and learning about it on his own. He wants to share it with everyone we know because he is just as excited as I am about this! Adopting Olive is really going to happen and I’m not going to have to do all the work to get us there!